The cullens get MSN accouts! GASP!
by ElyssaKathleen
Summary: What happens when the Cullen's get MSN accounts? You'll soon find out in this random- packed story!
1. The Unicorn Cave

Unicorn Cave

Emmet: Mr. Seyxeyboy

Alice: Frequentshopper

Rosalie: I'm2sexy4myshirt

Jasper: Mr. Emotional

Edward: Lion

Bella: OMG!BittenbyEddie!

Mr. Seyxeyboy: Damn I look good! I mean, seriously! WOOHOO! Porno music time! *porno music plays*

I'm2sexy4myshirt: Mhmm he's right everybody! *plays porno music with *

Frequentshopper: …….. Jazzy, do u sense something wrong here?

Mr. Emotional: ….. I'm not going to answer that…..

OMG!BittenbyEddie: CHICKEN in a bucket!!!! Salutations everybody!

Lion: Bella, why do you have that screen name?

OMG!BittenbyEddie: Because I'm a llama eating rainbows in the middle of a lake at night! Isn't it obvious EDDIE??!!

Frequentshopper: Yes EDDIE! And I'm her shopping ninja monkey sidekick! She can't eat rainbows by herself!

Mr. Seyxeyboy: Bella, have you been using my stash of crack again??

Lion: BELLA! You're a druggy? NO! Not the love of my life! Why does this always happen to ME! Tanya got high on candy and she got the same way you di- WAIT! Bella, let me guess, candy…?

OMG!BittenbyEddie: Maybe….. *evil smile* Mwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! *goes off to unicorn cave to eat more candy*

I'm2sexy4myshirt: I'll go find her, the 'unicorn cave' is usually in your room Edward or under a tile in her bathroom.

Mr. Emotional: WAIT! She's a vamp now! She doesn't eat candy! Oh god no!! *goes off to the unicorn cave*

Lion: What does she stash in my room? Wait, your right Jasper!!! NO!!!!!!!! Bella, your on a STRICT no human diet!! *runs after Jasper*

Frequentshopper: Jazzy wait 4 me! *runs after Edward and Jasper*

Mr. Seyxeyboy: uhh………. This is akward…..

Squckmaster: MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! You will now be under the control of my Squck army with their foreign Squome Militia!!! Mwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

*Squckmaster logged off*

Mr. Seyxeyboy: NO!! Must….. resist….powers…… AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *spirals away into a pool of squcks and squomes with Sharon laughing evilly in the background, then lands on the ground in a dark hole* Agh… Where am I?

Christine and Amanda: 9,999,999 bottles of beer on the wall! 9,999,999 bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, 9,999,998 bottles of beer on the wall…!! *goes on till at 2 bottles of beer*

Amanda: HEY! I lost count! LETS START AGAIN!

Christine: YEAH!

Christine and Amanda: *starts song again*

Mr. Seyxeyboy: NO!!! The horror!!! *cowers in an invisible Emo Corner with Sharon laughing in the background*

-A few days later-

OMG!BittenbyEddie!: Disney world was so much fun, right Eddie?

Lion: Yes Bella! I had a splendid time!

Frequentshopper: Too bad Emmet couldn't come… *looks over to cage, where Emmet is being poked by Elyssa, Jenna, and Sharon with the song 'Best Friend' by Toy Box playing*

Mr. Seyxeyboy: *twitches* make *twitch* them *twitch* stop!! *spazzez out on floor*

Frequentshopper: He's finally cracked… Good work guys!

Elyssa: Thanks! Any time! *hugs Emmet* Bye bye Emmet! I love you!

Mr. Seyxeyboy: THE HORROR! I need Mr. Fluffy McFluffy Face!! *cries in a fetal position on the floor*

Sharon: Hey, you guys wanna go to Wal-Mart and pretend to die dramatically in front of the security cameras?

Everybody: YEAH!!! *everybody skips off to Wal-Mart, whistling merrily, leaving Emmet to fend for himself*

Walter: Welcome to Walmart! Get your SHIT and get out!!


	2. Mr Fluffy McFluffy Face!

Mr. Fluffy McFluffy Face!

Chapter 2

Emmet: Mr. Seyxeyboy

Alice: Frequentshopper

Rosalie: I'm2sexy4myshirt

Jasper: Mr. Emotional

Edward: Lion

Bella: OMG!BittenbyEddie!

Mr. Seyxeyboy: School is now in session everybody!!

Frequentshopper: but, but, but….! I have an A average! I DON'T NEED FREAKIN SCHOOL! *skips off into distance, humming 'I'm a Barbie Girl'*

Mr. Seyxeyboy: ok boys and girls, we're going to learn how to color IN the lines today! Eddie, you need to do better on coloring on the PAPER, the table is NOT paper.

Lion: I'm not a part of this……

OMG!BittenbyEddie!: C'mon my darling husband! Get in the mood of being in Kindergarten again!

Lion: I was in kindergarten over 100 years ago Bella, I think I would know how to color 'on the paper'...

Mr. Seyxeyboy: OK! Attention naive pupils, we are coloring today! Pick your favorite color and draw a picture of the one you love most in your life!

OMG!BittenbyEddie!: I pick blue!! Mwahahaha!!!! *madly colors all over the page in sloppy scribbles* I BLEEPING LOVE COLORING!!!!

Mr. Emotional: Bella, calm down!

Frequentshopper: *magically appears* Whatever your smoking, I want some!!!!

OMG!BittenbyEddie!: It's called Coke-a-COLE-a!! hahaha!

Lion: I don't get it…

Mr. Seyxeyboy: Calm down children!! And there will be no smoking if I don't get some! Remember, sharing it the golden rule!

Lion: I thought 'silence is golden' is the golden rule…

Frequentshopper: I GET IT!! 'silence is GOLDEN' is the GOLDEN rule!! Ahahahahahahaha!!! *rolls on the floor, laughing hysterically*

Mr. Emotional: Alice, it's not that funny, now get up before you wrinkle your shirt.

Frequentshopper: AGH!!!! WRINKLES!!! GET….. OFF….MEE!!! *fights off the dreaded wrinkles*

OMG!BittenbyEddie!: NOOO!!! Get off of Alice you damn wrinkles!!!! *helps Alice fight off dreaded wrinkles*

Mr. Seyxeyboy: NO cursing Mrs. Bella Cullen! Go sit in the Curse Corner! BAD GIRL!!

OMG!BittenbyEddie: *grumbles to self and sits in corner*

Lion: NO MY ANGEL!! Not the dreaded Curse Corner!! *spirals away into darkness of my mind*

Frequentshopper: Alright Jazzy, get me the rope, whip, and sock! It's time to punish Mr. Emmet.

Mr. Seyxeyboy: NO!! Not the dreaded whip!! AHH!!!! *runs away*

Mr. Emotional: Oh no you don't man! *grabs Emmet by collar and drags him over to a chair and restrains him while Alice ties vampire resistant ropes around his hands and legs*

Frequentshopper: Jazzy get Mr. Fluffy McFluffy Face (Emmet's teddy bear) from Emmet's room while I get him ready. *smiles mischievously*

Mr. Emotional: *goes and gets scissors and Mr. Fluffy McFluffy Face*

Frequentshopper: *stuffs sock in Emmet's mouth and whips his leg* I am the Almighty Emmet Tamer!! Mwahahaha!

Mr. Seyxeyboy: *screams, muffled by the sock*

Mr. Emotional: *gives Alice bear and scissors*

Frequentshopper: Ok Emmet, do you see Mr. Fluffy McFluffy Face?? Well he had a little accident. You see, he fell into the wood chipper and his arm got all cut up into little pieces. *cuts arm off and proceeds to cut it up into pieces*

Mr. Seyxeyboy: *spits out sock* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mr. Fluffy McFluffy Face!!!!!!!!!

Frequentshopper: What's that? You want to hear more of the story?? Well, Mr. Fluffy McFluffy Face was cutting out a picture, when his scissors slipped and he chopped his head off by accident. *cuts bears head off*

Mr. Seyxeyboy: Mr. Fluffy McFluffy Face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU WILL BE AVENGED!!!!!!!! *roars, breaks free of bonds, and charges at Alice and Jasper*

Frequentshopper and : RUN!!!!!!!!!!

**everybody logs off, and there are great crashes around the house.**

OMG!BittenbyEddie: Anybody here?? Am I allowed 2 leave the Curse Corner?? Hello??? OH well! Time to dance in the corner! *dances in corner*


	3. The Skirt! ON NO!

Authors note: I AM SOOO SORRY I haven't updated in forever!! I've been really busy with a bunch of school projects and everything! So hopefully this will satisfy your Twilight craving!

Oh, and Jojoe is one of my bestys, so don't send me reviews saying 'who is this Jojoe person', 'what does she have to do with this?!', and things like that! She is just a friend that I am putting in for no apparent reason for ONE CHAPTER! THANKS YOU GUYZZ! 3

-eLySsA cANnOn

'The Skirt'

MSN Cullens 3

Emmett:

Alice: Frequentshopper

Rosalie: I'm2sexy4myshirt

Jasper:

Edward: Lion

Bella: OMG!BittenbyEddie!

Carlisle: Mr. Doctor-pants

Jojoe: Jojoe*J*Lemonhead*R*Muffinface

Frequentshopper: Hey hey everyone!!

*cricket cricket*

Lion: Hello sister

Frequentshopper: Edward, why do you have to always be so formal! I know you were born 100 years ago, but could you TRY to act your age!?

Lion: I don't know what you mean Alice

Mr. Seyxeyboy: C'mon bro! Acting like you're from the 1900 is a little obvious to some people that you aren't 17! I mean, who ever says *imitates an English accent* 'Why yes, I do enjoy tea and crumpets, thank you'??!!

Lion: HEY! That was 20 years ago Emmett! And you know why I had to say that! *sends a death glare at Emmett*

OMG!BittenbyEddie: *imitates an English accent* Edward, I love you so very much! Let us go to the chapel and join in holy matrimony!

Lion: Bella, we're already married! And please stop making fun of me!

I'm2sexy4myshirt: *imitates an English accent* Bella, why does my brother act so naive? I mean, he is simply not worthy of your love. He needs to learn about how to be 'his own age' *pulls out a box with the words 'The Skirt' written on it*

Lion: Wait, no, it CANT BE! I thought I BURNED IT!!

I'm2sexy4myshirt: Well, I had Carlisle make another one!

Mr. Doctor-pants: Edward, I know you hate it, but even im 'cooler' than you, according to Emmett.

Mr. Seyxeyboy: Okay man, put the skirt on!

Lion: NO!! NEVER!!

I'm2sexy4myshirt: *pulls a frilly, pink, and glittery tu-tu and shoved it at Edward*

Lion: DON'T LET IT TOUCH ME!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!! *runs away*

Mr. Seyxeyboy: AFTER HIM!!

Everybody: *War cry!!* *runs after Edward*

-Everybody has logged off-

A WHILE LATER!

Lion: I'm never going out in public again! Carlisle can home-school me!

Mr. Seyxeyboy: THAT WAS HILARIOUS DUDE!! Did you see that old couple?! I heard them whisper 'Damn faggots! What's wrong with this world?!'!!

OMG!BittenbyEddie!: It's alright love! I still think you're a manly man! UNLIKE ALICE! OR ROSE! OR EMMETT! I still love you Jasper! You had nothing to do with it!

Mr. Emotional: Actually, I calmed him enough so he wouldn't throw Emmett against a wall…

OMG!BittenbyEddie!: Well, that was necessary for our secret! *Hugs Jasper*

Mr. Emotional: Thanks Bella!

Lion: Bella darling, you really need to change your screen name!

OMG!BittenbyEddie!: Why Eddie baby? Does it BOTHER you??

Lion: You know it does…

: *bites a red crayon* THIS TASTES GROOOOOOSSSSS!!!!! Whoever said that crayons taste like the color they are, they were DEAD wrong!!!

I'm2sexy4myshirt: Emmett, what's wrong with you lately? Did you take my 'woman pills' by accident again?

: THAT WAS ONLY ONCE ROSE!!

I'm2sexy4myshirt: But it could've happened again!

Mr. Seyxeyboy: NO I DIDN'T TAKE THEM BY ACCIDENT! I'm not as stupid as I look!! *tries to slam revolving door* DAMN DOOR! Why won't you close already?? YOU'RE WASTING MY TIME!!!!!!! *smashes glass and storms away*

I'm2sexy4myshirt: … umm…

Jojoe*J*Lemonhead*R*Muffinface: Where's my skirt?! I let Emmet borrow it last night because he wanted to wear to for Rose!

I'm2sexy4myshirt: DANM IT JOJOE! Why'd you have to tell everybody!!! *blushes* He DID look sexy in it though! –flashback to last night- mmmmmmm… *licks lips*

Lion: IMAGESIMAGESIMAGESIMAGES ROSE!!!!

: I wouldn't mind replaying last night!

Jojoe*J*Lemonhead*R*Muffinface: -thinks- It better not be ripped up!

Lion: Umm… Jojoe, I have some bad news… -points to Emmet, who is holding up what is left of the tutu-

Jojoe*J*Lemonhead*R*Muffinface: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm2sexy4myshirt: Oh god! RUN EMMET!!! –Emmet and Rose run-

OMG!BittenbyEddie: Let's draw on our boobs!!

Mr. Emotional: Well, you can do that, but we'll go get ice cream at Braum's!

*everybody runs from Jojoe's horrible wrath while Bella draws hearts on her boobs*

-15 hours later, Jasper and Alice come back from Braum's-

Mr. Emotional: What'd we miss??

Everybody: -snoring asleep-

Frequentshopper: DAMN IT!!

OMG!BittenbyEddie: *snores* I do like sour cream on my mashed potatoes thank you ma'am!

Lion: OH TANYA! YES!! HARDER! UGHHH!!! YESSSSS!!

Mr. Seyxeyboy: … Mr. Fluffy McFluffy Face, YOU WILL BE AVENGED!! *starts laughing randomly*

Jojoe*J*Lemonhead*R*Muffinface: *snorts wildy* JASPER!!! STOP!!! IM TICKLISH THERE!!!!!

Mr. Emotional: I'm not doing anything…

Lion: -wakes up- OH IM SORRY! I have a tendency to tickle people in their sleep.

Jojoe*J*Lemonhead*R*Muffinface: No, it's fine… *yawns and licks lips*

Mr. Emotional: *blushes and looks away*

Frequentshopper: WTF JASPER! WHATS THAT GROWING IN YOUR PANTS!!!???

Jojoe*J*Lemonhead*R*Muffinface: His snake. You should know that by now Alice, you've had a lot of alone time with it…

Frequentshopper: NO! ALL WE DO IN OUR SPARE TIME IS PLAY CHECKERS!! *runs off and cries*

Mr. Emotional: Oh well! I am going to dump Alice for Jojoe because I weirdly now love Jojoe more that Alice now! *makes out with Jojoe*

Frequentshopper: OH NO YOU DI'INT!!!! *throws stripper heel at Jojoe and hits her in her arm*

Jojoe*J*Lemonhead*R*Muffinface: AHH!!! CRAP!! CARLISLE HELP ME!! AHH!! I AM BLEEDING!! BLOODBLOODBLOOD!! YUM!!! CANDYCANE!!!!! *dies slowly*

Frequentshopper: YESSSS!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! SUCKS TO BE YOU!!!!

Mr. Emotional: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!

Everyone else: *sits there while all this is happening*

Mr. Seyxeyboy: Wanna go get some tacos?

Mr. Emotional: YES! *everyone leaves dying Jojoe to slowly rot away*


End file.
